8 Things Only Parents of Small Children Will Understand

There's a great Scary Mommy post going around about the struggles of parent with big toddlers. I've had the pleasure of counting many of those parents as my friends, but today I need to share an alternative perspective. We're in this together moms, please hear me out.

When my son was born, several weeks late, he was called "The Toddler" by the hospital staff. As first time parents we thought, wow, he's going to be a big kid! We had to toss the newborn diapers that were too small, and we quickly made it into size 2. Then we stayed there, for years.

1. People don't expect them to do things for themselves

Because your kid looks so much younger than his age, people expect that he can't do things for himself. We all know toddlers love to be in charge, sometimes a little too much. When others insist on doing things for your small child they are opening the door for more tantrums. Because he's so small other people see them as noisy but cute, not the bloody beasts preparing for battle that they truly are. Oh, and don't forget the dirty looks you get for insisting he can do it herself this time.

2. People look at you like your crazy for not using a stroller.

Your small child is able to walk, jump and run, and she's really great at whining. You insist she walk the 20 yards from the car to the playground and people think you're being too hard on her. They insist she's only learning to walk, when you know she's fully capable at winning the 100 meter dash, even when competing with Usain Bolt.

3. They're in the car seat FOREVER.

Keeping our kids safe is a top priority - it's our job right? But other moms are starting to talk about selling their car seats and your kid could still be rear facing based on some state recommendations. Apparently this is frowned upon in the car drop off line at school. Oh, and you're car seat is about to expire, so go ahead and spend the money for a new one while your kid's friends brag about their new booster seats without a 5 point harness.

4. You can never spot your kid among her peers.

Because she's so dang little you have to snoop around all the other children to find she's sandwiched herself between two friends. She isn't hiding, but it sure seems like it. Meanwhile you seem like the playground weirdo because you have to physically hunt your child down instead of looking up from your comfy bench with your coffee. And by the time you get back to the bench your coffee is cold and you have to awkwardly insert yourself back into the conversation since you missed the last 10 minutes.

5. It's hard to find clothes that actually fit.

You son is so tiny around the waist that the only shorts that fit there look a lot more like boxer briefs than actual shorts. Some genius invented the adjustable waists, mostly to mock us. Sure we can make the waist small on shorts and pants of an appropriate length, just not quite small enough. So you end up doing the waist roll. Everyday. And goodness forbid it comes undone, because then you're the crazy mom on the playground searching around all the other kids to finally find your son with his shorts around his ankles. You found him more easily this time because he was screaming about said shorts. And suddenly your toddler is older, and even though he still only fits in 4T he's asking for Transformers, and Minecraft shirts. You might even cave and buy him the XS, but when he puts it on at home he decides it's too big even if it is incredibly cool. And he's right, that XS goes down past his tiny boxer brief excuse for shorts.

6. Public bathrooms are a nightmare.

You're at an indoor playscape and little Jack has to go potty. Little Jack is 6 now, so he doesn't need any help, and since he started reading he doesn't want to go in the women's restroom with mom. You stake out the men's room and send him in. And of course as soon as you do some other parent with an appropriate sized child gives you a scathing look for sending him in on his own. The daring ones even make comment about he can't possibly have been potty trained long, that's a lot to expect. And of course right after this your independent child comes out asking for help to reach the soap since it's placed so high on the wall. Now you look REALLY good.

7. They need a stool for EVERYTHING.

A stool by the light switch, the dresser, in the kitchen, two in the bathroom, and even a special chair for the dining room. They're everywhere because Madison can't reach, and that independent spirit means she MUST do it herself. If you help too much you're ruin her day, and yours. While other parents complain about stepping on legos, you complain about stubbing your toe, again, on another stool. This time you're sure it's broken.

8. Playgrounds are a battlefield.

Because your 5 year old is the smallest for his age, and honestly smaller than most 4 year old and many 3 year olds too, he seems to be the one always getting injured. A younger, but larger kid decided to pick him up, and he couldn't get away. Every time children his age play family they tell him he has to be the baby because he's so small. He wants to be a rough and tumble kid, but when he wrestles he's always first to go down. When he plays catch he's the one who gets hit in the head and knocked down. Thankfully he's used to this, and usually gets right back to playing. You help his nurse the emotional wounds, and wince when he says he wants to go to the park again.

Parents, we're all in this together. Whether your child is struggling to get on the growth chart, toppling over it, or anywhere on it, we all face challenges and we struggle daily. If we're lucky we can bond with other parents, see the humor of raising kids, and we're better for helping each other out. So next time you see that small kid, or that big kid, or child of average height without a Scary Mommy post, find their parent. Have a cup of coffee and commiserate together. It truly takes a village.

I'm Done with School

After returning form our traveling adventures in April and May we've tried hard to get back to a regular schedule. Those of you who know me are laughing at that. There is no normal schedule here! We tried anyway. This picture is a good summary of how P feels that return to routine is going. 

So we tried something new instead. We've had lots of fun going to Hawaiian Falls, meeting new friends, forming better connections with not so new friends, and turning an old favorite into something even better. Last week P attended Lego Camp. He loved every minute of it, and wanted to keep going. He also learned about motors and the computer program the robotics uses. Not to mention working with his partner, and playing with a group of kids of mixed ages. It was a nice little break for me, and we'll surely be trying it again. 

We've taken to collecting animals and learning about them. It started with a few basic bugs. Then we found the intact skeleton of a lizard. This week we found the spider below. We still haven't identified it, but in the short time we had him he was already making a web. We also found a giant leopard moth caterpillar. We didn't hold him too long, but long enough to know that when they pee it's green! 

This weekend we celebrated Father's Day, so it was pretty close to most other days around here. But I'll take the moment to salute P's dad, because he's all around fairly awesome. We finally broke out the volcano kit, and Dad got to talk chemistry, mom got to talk geology, and P got to see the "explosion." I'll call it a win. The great thing is we can use this kit multiple times, and I know he'll take away something new each time. 

So after all of this really awesome, fun, education stuff I overheard P say "I'm done with school." I wan't sure what to make of that. It sounded a whole lot like he was done learning, or maybe he meant he was done with Lego camp, or maybe that yes, he's really done with "school." We'll keep having fun (and we have another great adventure planned this week). We'll keep learning (whether he realizes it or not). We'll keep on exploring. 

"Anywhere but Home" School

As homeschoolers there are a few subjects required by the state we live in. We've added a few of our own as well, and I'm sure we'll add things as P gets older. The fun is in how we can creatively cover these subjects. Sometimes homeschool is really "Anywhere but home" school.

We try to show P that learning is everywhere, and our latest was combining school and a family trip to Disney World.

Animal Kingdom is Florida's largest biology class, with a splash of geography thrown in for fun. There was the classification of animals, along with the games and music of countries around the world. We learned about the bar-headed goose that's reportedly been seen flying over Mount Everest (and I don't mean the roller coaster).

Epcot is another lesson in geography (with a great deal of fun for mom and dad) but also included science and technology, and even art as we explored colors in the Innoventions section. Figment guided us through using our senses, and the games after the ride double as small experiments to better understand your senses and stretch your imagination. Test Track fostered a discussion on engineering as we designed our own vehicle, advertising and marketing as we helped create a commercial, and was also a great thrill ride!

Hollywood Studios has a great exhibit on animation, showing examples of early animation techniques. Even Magic Kingdom, the most fantastical park, gave us introductions to literature through Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse and Tom Sawyer Island.

Walt Disney saw his park as one that would entertain and educate, and decades later it's doing just that. While we don't expect to be back to Disney for years, we know we'll continue learning anywhere we go.

Our Black Hole Moment

There is always a part of my mind, sometimes large, sometimes small, ever present, that makes me question myself. Often this can be a bad thing, making me second guess myself, but I see it also as a very good thing, making me a little less impulsive than I'm naturally called to be. A few weeks ago my questioning self was in full blown power mode.

Kindergarten registration was upon us. So many of P's friends (or their parents) we're gearing up for school registration. Checking schedules, visiting schools, gathering immunization records, finding mortgage statements, looking for birth certificates that were neatly filed, oh who knows where?!  I was feeling swept away by this storm as it flooded everyone around me. Doing none of these things made me feel like I was clearly missing something. Like P would be missing out.

We considered homeschooling P from the start, but we always evaluated the multitude of education options available to us. We like spreadsheets, and we had spreadsheets to compare schools on all kinds of variables. And then we threw it all the wayside and said we can do this ourselves.

The day of registration arrived, and my self doubt was having a party. Then there was a black hole moment. Kind of a lightbulb moment, but better.

P started telling me about the size of our planet. Then about the size of stars. Then he proceeded to tell me about how stars get bigger and bigger until they explode and make a black hole that sucks everything around into it and we never see those things again. Not being an expert in black hole formation, I confirmed the details with P's dad, and realized that the information he shared was not only correct, but was something he remembered from several days previously without any reminders.

This black hole moment was timed perfectly to kill that self doubt. It was no longer a matter of "Can we do this?" because it became clear "We ARE doing this."

In our afternoon of errands we took a detour and picked up a slip n slide. We spent the rest of the afternoon playing, me connecting with my inner kid and P joyously expressing his.

I think all parents want to give their kids the best. The best schools, the best opportunities, the best life lessons. And that path looks different for every family. Finding your own path is filled with bumps, scary as hell, and easy to get lost. It's tempting to ride the path paved by others before you. But in our adventure we're hacking through, stepping foot on new ground, and I know we're right where we need to be.

Return to Civilization

An early tour meant I had to wake LLP early and we had to have the entire campsite packed up by 8. Somehow I had to convince him to eat too. And guess what? It worked! A healthy breakfast, enough tasks that he felt useful packing up, and we even managed to pack the tent up the right way on the first try!

Bright and early we arrived once again at the Mammoth Cave Visitor Center. LLP got once more chance to roam the exhibits, learning about sink holes, sandstone, geologic timescales, and critters from the caves. Then we loaded the bus to take the Frozen Niagara tour. (He said the bus is his favorite part of the park).

You know how sometimes you visit a place, and even though there's no way to accurately capture it you still take 100 photos? The portion of the cave we saw this morning is one of those places. We arrived to the blasted entrance and, being the first tour of the day, entered to hundreds or thousands of cave crickets. A short ramp took us to the natural section of cave where there were many traditional cave formations. Stalactites, stalagmites, columns, soda straws, drapes, and cave bacon. Yep, cave bacon. We ducked our heads (well I did, LLP not so much) and headed to see the huge formation this section of cave is named for. We also also entered a dry section of cave protected by sandstone and shale above.

It's only been a few hours, but already looking at my pictures I can tell they're rubbish. But I took them just the same and I'd do it again, if only as a faint reminder of the beauty just below the surface.

After our bus ride back (now only tied with the the cave as the best part of our trip) we loaded up and said goodbye to Mammoth Cave. 65N has nothing on the national park, but I couldn't help thinking, "Wow, Kentucky is beautiful!" Soon we were through Louisville, crossing another river, and entering our fifth state on this journey.

Let me pause to give Indiana a tip. If you advertise a visitor center on the highway it's helpful to post signage directing visitors to that center. If you have construction on the entrance ramp to get back on the highway it's helpful to post appropriate detour signage. I'll leave it at that.

The rolling hills of Kentucky caught my eye, but Indiana seems to be the prepubescent girl waiting to come into her prime. Spring hasn't yet delivered its charms. Or perhaps she's the broken old woman who's spring has long since past. Either way, our trip into Indianapolis was nothing more than the line between dots on our map.

Upon arrival at our hotel all I could think is "Thank you oh blessed, sweet shower!" Even LLP was happy to wash off several days of camping. I sprang for the hotel with an indoor pool, and we enjoyed it for a bit this afternoon while trying to adjust to a time change. While arranging dinner I let LLP watch tv. His constant request for every item advertised was a strong reminder why we don't have network tv at home. He's tucked away in bed, and hopefully dreaming of race cars in preparation for tomorrow.

Wild Goose Chase

A trip to the camp store this morning got us well on our way to fixing those bloopers from Sunday. LLP was eager to go hiking and explore the area. Our entire morning routine was quick and we were on our way.

Our first official stop for the day was the Mammoth Cave Visitors Center. We were just in time for the morning hike, so we jumped on that.

We got more history on the short hike than we were prepared for. Mammoth Cave was originally a mine, worked by slaves, and the first visitors came to tour the cave 200 years ago. The first tour guide was Stephen Bishop, a slave. His owner wrote about him as extremely knowledgeable about not only the cave, but geology as a whole, and most importantly someone who understood people. Several guests came to the cave and asked specifically for Stephen as their guide. Other early guides were also slaves, and quickly became nearly as knowledgeable about the cave as Stephen.

I can't do the details justice, so please visit here to find out more. The men working this cave deserve more of your time than a few sentences on this tiny blog.

After our official hike we decided to explore some trails on our own. This gave me the chance to attempt an explanation of slavery to LLP. Breaking down a barbaric and devastatingly embarrassing piece of our history was incredibly difficult but absolutely necessary. The basic concept is horrific enough, we can save the nitty gritty for when he's older. But I don't want to white wash history for him, and I'm glad that he's beginning to see a few of the shadows our nation has. And the idea that all people are NOT equal had never entered his imagination. In his words, "That's mean. That would make me really sad."

On our hike we took time to practice our listening skills. As is the case with most small children LLP was in need of serious practice. When his little legs needed a break we would stop and close our eyes. He'd tell me everything he could hear. We heard lots of birds, water front the river, people on the trail behind us, and even the wind rustling through the trees. It was a fun way to get in our walking breaks while exploring our senses.

We hiked down to the River Styx for a beautiful view. LLP decided there was one dolphin living in the small pond at the mouth of the cave. And perhaps an octopus as well. Sometimes I'm in awe of his imagination, other times I admit my best course of action is to roll my eyes and move on. This was a little bit of both.

We were told there was a boat on the river, and so we went in search of an afternoon activity. Quickly we found the Green River Ferry, a small ferry that takes you across the river for a total distance of about 60 yards. Thinking this surly wasn't the boat much loved by children and highly acclaimed we continued our search.

We followed the signs for Dennison Ferry Day Use Area. Perhaps this was the fun ride. Nine miles of curvy roads of varying inclines later I was about to turn around when I saw an old, one lane dirt road and another sign. I figured we'd gone so far already, let's take the turn. What's another mile or two?

Or three or eight or however long it was. It seemed to be the dirt road that went on forever. We reached the end to ins a simple canoe launch. Nothing to rent, no big crowds, and 30 steep stairs to the river. It almost felt like we we're the last two people in the world. And I knew we would never survive the zombie apocalypse if that's what was coming.

We made our way back to the visitor center to find someone perhaps a little more knowledgeable. We learned that the river boat mentioned, pictured, and alluded to in signage has been out of operation for perhaps a decade. We are told of a cave tour via boat 35 miles south in Bowling Green, and because we're on an adventure we decided to make the trip.

Lost River Cave has thrived as a tourist attraction (trap?) for 100 years. We learned about the blue holes that drain into and through the cave. Blue Hole Four was once thought to be 467 feet deep, and the river to the cave only 400 feet long. This made it the shortest And deepest river. We now know that the hole is a mere 16 feet deep, but there are tunnels That flow from the river to the cave for more than 400 feet.

Our guide took us into the cave on a small boat, and the entrance is so low all passengers have to duck to make it through. The water is a cool 48 degrees, but only three feet deep in the cave. The cave was flooded in 2011, so most stalactites did not survive. We heard several tales from over the years, some more true than others. We enjoyed terrible jokes, and hearing about all all the tall ales made us feel a bit better about our own wild goose chase earlier in the day.

In my ongoing search for free wifi we stopped at Burger King on the way home. LLP says this was the best part of his day, so next time I might leave him home. Maybe.

Nectar from the Gods

I awoke to screaming this morning at 5:00 am. It was way to early to be up, especially after a late night, but Little Long Patch had a nightmare. While I was able to console him and get a little more rest I should have known it was a sign of things to come for the day.

Once we were up for the day LLP was a big helper with packing our bags and loading up the car. He even carried the ice bucket when we filled up the cooler. Of course this meant it took an hour longer to actually get out, but we were in no hurry and I was happy to see him contributing. Someday he'll be waiting on me instead.

We took a short drive over to the Parthenon. Upon our arrival we walked around the pond and saw a mama duck with ten tiny ducklings. This seems to have been a bigger hit than the Parthenon itself. We also got to watch a few geese swim and eat the willow leaves drooping into the lake. I'll take it as a subtle reminder from the universe that no matter what we humans create there's always more wonder in nature itself.

 LLP and I took a stroll through Centennial Park and he decided we should have a picnic. We enjoyed our morning snack back at the pond watching the ducks. The trees provided a shade canopy from the hot spring sun. We ate, talked to Dad, giggled, and dreamed. It's these little moments that I hope he will remember no matter where our journeys take us.

 We decided to skip Music Row, and headed to the Pancake Pantry for lunch. I've never been a huge pancake fan, though they're an easy fix and I won't turn them down. These were not regular pancakes though. These were like nectar of the gods. Manna from heaven. Far and away the best pancakes I've ever had, and I highly suggest you factor in a visit to the Pancake Pantry should you find yourself in Nashville.

Afterward we met up with some old friends at Fido's. Dog friendly, with patio seating, a nice place to catch up or even do some writing. I got a nice preview of the teenage years ahead with LLP. While it was nice to catch up we both had to part ways, and LLP and I were on our way to Kentucky.

That's when things started to go slightly awry. My phone, and therefore my GPS, decided it had had enough of road trips, and decided to keep killing the battery. LLP had the idea we'd be in the car all day, and was restless and whiny. It was only an hour and a half drive, but we stopped three times.

Upon arrival at Mammoth Cave National Park (mile 1040) we realized the tent poles we'd fixed after our last trip were broken again. Eventually we were able to get set up though, and we headed to the camp stove to get our firewood. We arrived at the store two minutes after closing. We rummaged the campsite, and adjoining sites, for any dry wood that could serve us. We finally got a small fire going and I was able to cook a little dinner. We even roasted a few marshmallows. LLP was concerned the fire was out so fast, especially considering how much time we spent collecting wood. I'm sure we'll have an early visit to the camp store tomorrow, and in the meantime he's learning a lesson in how the payoff of hard work can go by quickly if you aren't careful.

After our fire we took a walk to the old Mammoth Cave railroad cars. Neither of us expected to find a train here, but we were both happy to learn about how the train helped those first visitors enjoy the cave 200 years ago.

On our walk back to the campsite we found enough wood for another tiny fire. I forgot to pack the flashlight, my phone is dying,LLP is tucked in his sleeping bag, and I'm enjoying the last few warm coals for the evening. We'll be here for a few nights, which will be good for both of us. We forgot to bring a flashlight, and I had trouble with the lantern. Both of those things can be fixed, and we're reminded once again not to sweat the small stuff. Instead we can focus on exploring the beautiful life around us.